Written in her own words, Camila Cabello writes a powerful essay about her daily struggles with mental health.  In addition to living with OCD, in her essay, which is featured in the Wall Street Journal Magazine for Mental Health Month, Camila reveals the hardest part was asking for help.

 

 

Living with Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD):

“OCD is not how it’s stereotyped, like, ‘She’s so OCD about her desk being organized, etc.’ OCD can take many different forms, and for me it was obsessive thoughts and compulsive behaviors. To put it simply, it made me feel like my mind was playing a cruel trick on me. It affected me physically, too. I couldn’t sleep for a long time, I had a constant knot in my throat, I had chronic headaches, and my body went through what felt like multiple roller-coaster rides every day.  I didn’t want to tell you what was going on for the same reason a lot of us don’t want to talk about what it feels like to be at war in our minds and in our bodies.  I was embarrassed and ashamed… That same little voice also told me maybe I was being ungrateful for all the good in my life – and that hiding the open wound I’d been avoiding the last few years was the easiest and fastest solution.  My anxiety manifested in the form of obsessive compulsive disorder.”

 

 

On seeking treatment: 

“It’s hard to be there for your people when you’re just trying to be OK yourself. That’s why being brave enough and loving yourself enough to speak up and get help is not only the best gift you can give yourself but the best gift you can give the people you care about. In the moments when I was battling my anxiety, I wasn’t present when my sister talked to me about her day, or I wasn’t present enough to notice that my mom had been quiet. I couldn’t ask my mom what was wrong, because my mind was making so much noise and my hands were full trying to handle my own pain.  I knew I needed to take action and take ownership of the one mind and the one life I was given.  I did a lot of work every day for months. Through the help of cognitive behavioral therapy, meditation (the most empowering thing I think a human being can do, whether you are struggling or not), breath work and taking care of my body, I am not in that internal war that I was in every day. It also took a lot of self-love (believing I am inherently worthy of happiness, belonging, love and joy, no matter what), self-compassion (not emotionally beating myself up for struggling) and self-awareness (calling myself out on my s**t).”

 

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To read Camila’s full essay, click here.

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